This article revisits a decade-long stalemate in Nigeria-EU return diplomacy, where negotiations over an EU Readmission Agreement remain unresolved despite Nigeria’s centrality to European migration policy. We develop an analytical framework inspired by Pierre Bourdieu to analyse the practice of migration diplomacy. Drawing on expert interviews, policy documents, parliamentary debates, and media reports, we conclude that the protracted negotiations are the result of collective procrastination, based on the interplay of ceremonial commitments to advance an agreement while tacitly obstructing progress. Procrastination allowed the EU to signal continued engagement in migration policy while avoiding admitting failure, and enabled Nigeria to prevent formal acceptance of unpopular deportations while bolstering its image as an emerging power. This study shows that when stakes in migration diplomacy are high and neither party holds a clearly superior negotiation position, both sides can secure symbolic gains from procrastinating and mastering the art of no deal.