We propose local electromagnetic noise spectroscopy as a versatile and noninvasive tool to study Wigner crystal phases of strongly interacting two-dimensional electronic systems. In-plane imaging of the local noise is predicted to enable single-site resolution of the electron crystal when the sample-probe distance is less than the interelectron separation. At larger sample-probe distances, noise spectroscopy encodes information about the low-energy Wigner crystal phonons, including the dispersion of the transverse shear mode, the pinning resonance due to disorder, and optical modes emerging, for instance, in bilayer crystals. We discuss the potential utility of local noise probes in analyzing the rich set of phenomena expected to occur in the vicinity of the melting transition.